Soul Shelter Read online

  “I am not,” I reassured her. “My mind and soul are too shaken for me to sleep. I am going to try to settle my Soulscape for a while.”

  “Okay,” she said as she chewed on her lower lip. “I... actually need to think for a bit too. Can we talk later?”

  “Of course,” I said, uneasy at seeing her so worried. I suspected it had much to do with her recent confession, and how to handle it after our lives had been upheaved. “You can talk to me any time, Nova. That’s one other thing that hasn’t changed.”

  She gave me a small smile, then walked away. I found a quiet corner and knelt down, sending a request to Nestor to watch both women, and to let me know when they had gone to sleep. The fluffy little mouse complied happily, pattering over Vessa and then Nova, who both crooned happily over his coming to ‘tuck them in.’ When Nestor confirmed that they had both nodded off, I reactivated my qi regeneration technique and began to Draw.

  Essence, mana, and qi flowed from the atmosphere within the Soulship and into my soul. My planet kept its rotation, stabilizing the three Source energies so that they did not compete with each other for mastery of my Advancement. By remaining in one place, the Soulscape allowed my essence to settle over my muscles, organs, and bones, enhancing the earthly aspects of my Soulscape planet and the mosaic in my soul’s stomach. By spinning, it assisted the mana in traveling through my brain and nervous system, and enhancing the atmosphere in my Soulscape and stabilizing the tin ore inside my spiritual head. And by doing both in a predictable pattern, it assisted my qi in circulating throughout my body, refining all of the water currents traveling in my Soulscape, and ensuring that the qi traveling through my spirit did so at a uniform rate. It also helped me determine the next step I would take for my overall Advancement.

  Once my Soulscape was in perfect balance among the three Sources again, I began investigating the physical changes that had also occurred. My bones were denser and stronger, which provided a solid structure for my newly enhanced muscles, and I was almost positive that all of my internal organs had improved as well, if my general feeling of renewed health was any indication. My mind felt clearer than I could ever remember, and processing new information came with ease. I was still observing all of the changes, but I had a strong suspicion that my muscle memory would be similarly improved. I stretched, feeling a renewed sense of appreciation for these benefits that I still didn’t fully comprehend.

  I had wanted to wait before doing this. I had wanted Vessa’s input first, in order to determine the most beneficial path to take next, because I still wanted to be useful. I still wanted to help my childhood friend, and this mysterious woman from the stars, and hearing her affirmation that both women were somehow one and the same only hardened my desire to protect and support them.

  But Vessa and Nova no longer believed they needed my protection. Vessa had already begun explaining that, once Nova was rescued, I would not have to take my combat potential so seriously. She had an Advancement track planned for me that would focus strictly on giving me a long, comfortable life. My body would be strong and healthy, but its combat growth would largely stop. I would be comfortable in any climate, attractive enough to any potential mate, sharp enough to notice any opportunities for wealth, and my longevity would actually be ten times that of anyone at the same stages of Advancement, likely allowing me to live for hundreds or even thousands of years by the time I reached the third full stage of Advancement—and I would reach it quickly, thanks to exclusively specializing on Vessa’s recommendations.

  But my fighting days would be over. I would be locked away somewhere safe, unable to help the next time Vessa or Nova needed my help to face an even stronger foe. They would end up like my parents—powerful, wise, good, but with no one to help them when a mighty enemy finally decided that they were too dangerous to live.

  The night sky needed them both. The remnants of Earth needed them both. I needed them both.

  So I needed to annihilate their ability to keep me wrapped up in a false sense of safety. And the only way to do that was to sabotage Vessa’s perfect plan to ensure I could forever rest on my thin, wilted crown of laurels.

  The cage drake’s Source energy stirred within me, still undigested. By landing the killing blow, Nova had absorbed the bulk of it, but I had played a role in the monster’s death as well, giving it at least two wounds and forcing it to spend a substantial amount of energy on its fight with me. I had absorbed a significant handful of the dark Sourcebeast’s power, and even undigested, it was enough to push me into the second substage of each Source.

  And Vessa had just convinced me that she would outline a plan to spend the entirety of that power on growth that would maximize my comfort, safety, and longevity. I could not allow that to happen. Not only because it would drastically diminish my potential to help or protect. Beyond even that, I had become too used to rugged survival. To always doubt the arrival of my next meal. To suspect that someone had seen the crust of bread I had grabbed, and was currently sneaking up behind me to try and take it from me, and if I didn’t start running immediately, he would beat me and steal it.

  Giving me a hundred years of safety was giving me a wealth I could neither appreciate nor understand how to wield. Not yet. Perhaps not ever.

  But even though I couldn’t handle feeling safe, I could handle feeling needed. So I pulled the mass of draconic Source energy closer to my Soulscape and essence mosaic, opening it up with my spiritual senses to examine its properties.

  Essence users always gained the most—or at least the easiest—benefits from contact with Sourcebeasts. Their primal connections with the natural world would allow them to directly harness some of the properties of any creature they bonded with, spent an excessive amount of time around, or slew in combat. Mana users could learn to mimic a Sourcebeast’s powers by studying them long enough, and qi users could refine their power to take on the creature’s properties through careful cultivation, but for essence users, absorbing a Sourcebeast’s power through communion or violence was a cornerstone of their Advancement. Vessa would consider what I did with this energy to be a critical component of my own Advancement. She would have me focus on the monster’s health and longevity, absorbing those aspects in place of any other. Then she would probably have me stop, because consuming too much of a significantly more powerful creature was inherently dangerous, unless one was a Sourcebeast themselves.

  But refusing to squeeze the remnants of this power dry, while the night sky wept and burned, was an even greater foolishness.

  I tore into the orb of power, focusing first on the drake’s constitution, figuring that having a healthier body would help me digest the rest of the power. My insides began to shudder as it strained to contain the intense energy, but then my spectral planet began spinning faster, siphoning off the excess for its own ends. I sighed as the process became easier, and continued devouring the tiny portion of essence I had torn from the beast during mortal combat.

  My bones and organs finished absorbing its health, and the next sip my spirit took from the ball of power was empty. I had drained that aspect of the monster completely dry. I shifted my focus to the part of the black ball containing the monster’s physical and spiritual might. I strengthened my muscles, teeth, nails, and the reserves containing my three Source energies. It was not as easy as devouring the monster’s vitality had been, but I gritted my teeth and forced myself to concentrate until there was no more raw power to digest, my Soulscape once again devouring the traces that the rest of my being couldn’t process. I felt my muscles tone and condense even further, and my essence seemed to approve, widening the cracks in the mosaic on the belly of my soul.

  I attempted to devour the monster’s memories next, but it proved to be a fruitless endeavor. Devouring the knowledge and skills learned by another being was a feat so difficult, I could not even figure out where to begin, and Vessa had said it was beyond all but the most powerful essence practitioners. But the natural skills were another matter. The
re had to be a way I could make use of the cage drake’s chain breath, and I was determined to find it.

  I needed to hurry, though, because I was starting to develop something of a headache.

  I pulled this last aspect of the Sourcebeast’s power closer to me, examining it more thoroughly with my spiritual senses. This weakened my hold over it, almost allowing it to slip free and begin wreaking havoc inside my body, but it was a necessary risk. I could see that in order to utilize the creature’s power, I would need to be as strong or stronger than the target I wished to bind, and also have a much, much wider throat to properly expel the attack. That was a frustrating discovery, but then I felt my Soulscape pull on the power insistently, as if it were a small child tugging excitedly on my sleeve.

  Be careful, I thought futilely, and with a shrug, I sent the last remnants of the cage drake’s essence hurtling into my inner world. The planet pulsed again, as if I had just given it a particularly tasty treat, and began spinning even faster, pulling the ball of essence out into a chain of tiny black links that circled into it in a descending orbit, until the entire ball was gone.

  For a moment, nothing else happened. My Soulscape spun in silence. Then it abruptly began spitting out broken black links into my essence, mana, and qi reserves. The broken links impacted my soul with enough force to make my physical body shake violently, and I coughed as a sharp, stabbing pain shot through my chest. My qi recovery technique activated immediately, stabilizing whatever trauma was currently shredding my organs, which allowed me to focus again. I watched the chains disintegrate into my three Source reserves, and new knowledge birthed inside my mind, bones, and soul.

  My mana had studied the chain and realized it was the residue from some sort of binding effect. That should have been obvious, but fortunately the power had taken it a step further, investigating the properties that had broken the links in the first place, though it had to keep the chain at a safe distance while doing so. The result was a new spell I could use, one that could undo a binding effect placed over an area or another person. It wasn’t guaranteed to work every time, but I felt confident that I could undo the binding effect of any practitioner a full stage of Advancement above me.

  My qi pondered the concept of freedom itself, and how the environment itself often restricted what I could and could not do at any given moment. It found the matter baffling, and decided that freedom of any kind was one of the hardest things to obtain, and perhaps the hardest thing of all to preserve once one had it. Nevertheless, it was able to craft a technique that would enhance my ability to move freely in a difficult environment, such as running through thick mud, balancing on a thin beam, or wading through chest-high water.

  My essence grabbed at the broken links and tried to determine how much strength would have been needed to break them, as well as how much flexibility a being encircled by them would have likely needed to escape them. It decided that the greatest threat to my freedom was another being that would directly restrict it, just as predators often grappled with their prey before consuming it. It devised a charm that would give me a sudden burst of speed, flexibility, and strength, but which would only activate when I was being grappled by an opponent. That task completed, my essence felt satisfied, and considered the matter no further.

  Then it was over. The ball of cage drake essence had been completely consumed. I had no chance to properly digest the monster’s longevity, and no regrets over its loss. Vessa had made it clear that my normal Advancement had already extended my lifespan, and just reaching the wailing stage, the next stage of essence, would give me at least another decade of life. Even more importantly, I was much more likely to survive a direct threat, or help Vessa and Nova survive their own threats.

  Speaking of threats, I thought to myself, I should probably figure out why my chest still hurts.

  I reactivated my qi recovery technique, and it began repairing the lingering damage to my organs that overconsumption had caused. It took an alarmingly long time, but eventually I felt my body settle back into a healthy rhythm. I sighed in relief, stretched my arms, and started to get back up. My body immediately disagreed, demanding I lean back against the wall, relax, and not do anything else for the next several hours. My mind argued that doing so would be a tremendous waste of time, and that at the very least, I should practice the new powers I had gained. My body countered that it was more tired than my brain realized, and pointed out that if I was really ready to be active again, my eyes would be open by now.

  My mind said something in response that the rest of me didn’t catch, and everything drifted away into a soothing blackness.

  CHAPTER TWO

  I woke up to find that I had been moved from my current position, and that I had somehow received a blanket and pillow. In spite of that thoughtful gift, my back still felt stiff and twisted, and it protested loudly when I shifted it to a more natural position. I rose and stretched, hearing voices over by Vessa’s capsule.

  “...took more power from me than I thought it did,” Vessa was saying in a firm, yet hushed, tone. “Even after linking back with you, making a jump this quickly, this quietly, and this far wasn’t easy. I want to go right back, just like you do, but even if we return as soon as we can, we’ll just be trapped in the same position we are now. We need to do more than just a few light repairs, or our enemies will always be one step ahead of us.”

  “I know that,” Nova retorted in a frustrated tone. I turned the corner to see her standing over Vessa’s capsule, wearing that concentrated expression she always had when she was planning something she was already passionate about. “And I know time on Earth moves especially slow. But that doesn’t make things any less urgent! People are starving, and suffering, and dying right now on my world, and for the first time, I know exactly who is responsible! It’s hard to wait, now that I know what’s happening.”

  “I get that all the time, which is probably why you feel the way you do,” Vessa muttered. “Here’s what I do: don’t look at this as waiting. Look at it as making preparations to take care of the problem for good.”

  “If you were really looking at it that way right now, I’d feel it,” Nova grumbled stubbornly. “But that’s still the best way to go about this. What should we do next?”

  “Trace elements,” Vessa sighed, looking fatigued again. “Making all of these jumps spent most of what Jas gathered for me earlier. Including the Source energy from the eaterlings he killed. But you’re much stronger than he was, and you’re also armed. I can risk sending you to places I can’t risk sending him. That way, you’ll be able to gather much more of what I need. Especially since, like him, you have experience scavenging from your years of living in Earth’s slums.”

  “Some,” Nova admitted uncomfortably, looking away for a moment. “I was able to find things occasionally, but even back then, he was a much better scavenger than I was. I’ll get the hang of it, though.”

  “Or I can continue to help,” I said as I walked over. “I can either show Nova what to look for, or she can guard me while Nestor and I search for what you need.”

  Nestor squeaked when I mentioned his name, crawling up my shoulder to join in on the conversation. The two women—or two bodies of one women that somehow felt the need to argue with each other— turned their heads to look at me.

  “Jas,” Nova said, still looking uncomfortable. “Um... how did you sleep?”

  “We wanted to move you back to your bed,” Vessa added awkwardly, “but we didn’t want to risk waking you. You looked like you really needed to sleep. I’ll try to have a third bed activated by the end of today.”

  “Or I could take the floor next time,” Nova offered. “We could rotate days or something.”

  “Why are you offering him that?” Vessa asked irritably. “You know he’ll insist otherwise. I was able to figure that out even before we merged earlier, and you’ve known him far longer than the rest of me.”

  “Maybe that’s another reason two people should make the next tr
ip,” I interjected, troubled by how much I had already seen Vessa and Nova fight. “If Nova protects me, we can carry twice as much, and then we won’t have to worry about the issue of beds.”

  “That’s...” Vessa paused. “A good point. I’m sorry, Jasper, but it looks like I’m going to have to ask you to do more for me. At least for a little bit longer.”

  “If you will recall,” I replied patiently, “we had discussed that possibility before.”

  “Well, yeah,” Nova began, “but it’s still hard to put you in that position. Vessa showed me that you’ve been risking your life ever since you got here, Jas. You could have been killed four times already.”

  I shifted my gaze to her and tried to control my temper. Nova, for all her kindness and intelligence, had never been able to gather just how much danger I had been in every day on Earth. As dangerous as the addicts, gangs, and criminals had been, they paled in comparison to the danger posed by the government itself. Even while homeless, I had been watched constantly, not for my protection—no one would have lifted a finger to help a non-citizen like myself—but for signs that I possessed the same criminal knowledge that had led to the deaths of my parents, knowledge of information deemed as either ‘sacrilegious’ or ‘hate speech.’

  “Nova,” I began, trying to sound reasonable. “I need you and Vessa to understand that my safety doesn’t depend on hiding in the safest hole I can find. I spent over half my life doing exactly that. I know just how little safety that brings. Instead, I need to help you repair Vessa until she’s strong enough to defend herself, both as a person and as a starship. Because if the ship part of her gets destroyed...” I gestured to the steel world around us. “I’ll never be safe again. And neither will anyone else, because she is apparently all that stands between the night sky and the creatures that would consume it.”

  “You’re right,” Nova sighed, covering her face with her hands. “I just don’t want to lose you. You’re all I have left, and you’re the first person the other part of me...” She gave Vessa an unreadable glance, “has seen in a very, very long time.”